Parks and Pedicures

After a little bit of a cold snap last weekend, but it's starting to warm back up! Can we just get over the threat of frost? At least it's not snow! (ick!)

This morning Sam and I headed to the park. He wanted to take his bike so that he could ride around the circle. 

Then we threw rocks and kicked his soccer ball around until another kid took Sam's ball and kicked it right into Sam's chest. I'm pretty sure it was an accident but as Sam stood there crying the kid took our other soccer ball and kicked it far away. Sam was getting tired anyway so after that he was ready to head home.

After lunch and a nap Sam gave me a pedicure. Don't you love it?
When Alex got home from work we ate dinner and headed to the playground. Sam made a little friend there and as we left they kept yelling at each other, "Bye!" Thanks for comin'!" "Thank you for playing with me!" "Thanks for slidin' with me!" and "I love you!" Haha! It was adorable.

Mother's Day Weekend

I was reprimanded by a pal today for not blogging enough. So here I am! ;) We had a pretty okay Mother's Day weekend. Allow me to tell you all about it...

On Saturday we spent the day at our town's spring festival. It was kind of chilly out, but Sam loved it. He yelled "Hi!" to everyone who passed by in the parade. Even the little league teams who chucked candy at us as hard as they could.

He was so stoked about the rides, too.
He rode one car ride once, the other twice, the little kiddie roller coaster once, and he went down the giant slide six times. Six. Times. He probably would've done it by himself but he was too little to carry the sack up the steps without tripping over it and falling all the way down them and breaking his neck. (Yep. That's where my mind goes.) So Alex did it with him.
And of course... LUNCH! Dolla hot dog, y'all!
After church on Sunday Alex treated me to a super fancy Mother's Day lunch at a little place we love. You probably haven't heard of it. It's called Qdoba. Nom.
After lunch we took my momma her stepping stone we made for her. I forgot to take a picture of the finished product, but these turned out really nice. Sam had a blast helping Alex make the one for Alex's mom. In the one I made for my mom I wanted to use sea shells that her mother (my Nanny) had collected. This being the first Mother's Day since my Nanny passed away I really wanted to incorporate a part of her into my mother's gift.
That evening Alex's mom stopped by for a bit. And later Alex gave Fraggle a bath. (I told him all I wanted for Mother's Day was a clean house and a clean dog. I got a clean dog! :)
Sam said he wasn't ready for bed so we told him he could watch a video while I helped Alex blow dry and brush out Fraggle's coat. (There is a reason we usually pay someone to do that! Geez it takes work!) This is how we discovered him after a few minutes..
He didn't even wake up when Alex carried him to bed. Sweet boy.
I spent Monday morning trying to catch up on housework that I neglected over the weekend. I could use Mother's Day as an excuse but I'm not gonna front... I pretty much just clock out on the weekends anyway. On Monday afternoon Sam had a play date with the lovely Mia at the park while I carried on an adult conversation with Mia's momma! :)
Monday evening we cooked two dinners! (One to eat, and one prepped for Tuesday night.) And then I relaxed while the boys had a jam session/dance party.
Look at all of that STUFF. I can't wait to do a big toy purge for our CureSearch yard sale. Oh, you want to know about that? Well, that's a post for another day. I can't blow all of my blog material all on one post if I'm expected to do this regularly. ;P

So LOOK LAUREN! I blogged! Haha! 

School's Out for the Summer!

Sam has officially completed his first year of the Mother's Day Out program at our church. They held their End of the Year Program on Tuesday night. 

He did so well on stage. :) 

At the Christmas program he didn't really sing, but we were just kind of shocked that he wasn't one of the kiddos who just stood there crying. This time he actually sang!

Aaaand it was hilarious to watch him interact with his friends. PLUS he spotted us in the balcony and kept waving and yelling, "Hi Dad!" 

He wouldn't really pose for a picture on his first day.

But he was willing to pose for me on his last day. He kept telling me to take a picture of his backpack. 

I was nervous about sending him to MDO when he first started. He only went two days a week, and he had some trouble at drop-off for a while, but he finally made it to the point we he would just walk right in and start playing. On Wednesday night when I was dropping him off at childcare at church he was actually trying to push me out the door.

He hasn't really grown much physically (only one centimeter in height, according to his doc. And note that he's wearing the same shoes, but hey! they're getting tight!) but has made great strides socially. I'm really glad that we decided to enroll him. 

Organization in Small Spaces

A couple of years ago, when the playroom was still Sam's bedroom that he never actually slept in, I blogged about how we organized his medical supplies and craft supplies. We love our home, but it isn't huge. We don't have a lot of closet space, no basement, no garage. So storage could become a problem if we let it. We try to keep the stuff under control, but I'm not going to lie... my kid has a lot of toys.  So sometimes we have to get creative.

Enter the over-the-door pocket shoe organizer. I can't take credit for this idea. Two years ago my friend Tiffany volunteered to help me organize Sam's supplies and this is what she came up with. Genius, no? Back then it was filled with flushes, syringes, caps, dressing change kits, alcohol swabs, tape, and about 5 billion other miscellaneous medical supplies.

Craft stuff was organized into these plastic drawers. Look how fancy I got with the labeling when I blogged about it back then. These days I can barely throw a few pictures up here.

It took me a few months after Sam finished treatment to pack up his medical supplies. I just left them in that organizer, rolled it up, and placed it into a plastic tote with the rest of the supplies. They were just there. In the back of the closet. Just in case. It hasn't been too long since I was able to finally get rid of it all. A few weeks ago I hung the shoe thingy back up thinking I might do something with it, but I didn't know what. It held playdoh supplies in a few of the pockets but that was it.

Until today! I was digging through the drawers looking for something and an idea flew into my funnel! Wait -- my head! (The Thomas & Friends obsession is still going strong around here.) The craft supplies!

Everyone knows you can't organize without laying everything out and making a bigger mess of things first...

But look! The whole process didn't take very long and was totally worth it! Craft supply organization is way better than medical supply organization!

Paints, paint supplies, and paper are in this unit.

Markers, colored pencils, and crayons are in these smaller drawers. If Sam wants to color he can just pull out a drawer and take it to the table with him. I didn't take a picture of the whole closet again. Just imagine that it looks the same as that picture up there. Only more board games and toys, and with less baby type stuff and without the tiny three-drawer unit on top.

And SCORE! We found a beach ball! Or as Sam calls it... a swimmin' ball...

Your Dentist's Name is Crentist?

Sam had a dental appointment this morning. Last time he was not a fan, but today he did a fantastic job! He let them clean and floss his teeth. He was totally stoked about his bouncy ball, too. :)

Easter

I'm getting bad about having a bunch of drafts in queue and just leaving them there. Usually they're just a bunch of pictures because I like to upload pictures to the blogger app from my phone and then actually write from my computer. But then I wait too long and can't remember what to write about or it's not really relevant anymore. So... uhh... HERE ARE A BUNCH OF PICTURES FROM EASTER! Enjoy!

Sam came down with a wicked sinus infection Easter weekend so we missed church and all of the family events. But we still dyed eggs which he clearly loved...

Scan Results

First things first. Scans are still STABLE! Yay!

We saw the doc on Thursday and got the results. Everyone is pretty pleased with how he's doing. :)

After seeing the doc we headed over to 7W for a visit. Sam rode the tricycle around with one of his nurse friends while I met a couple of neuroblastoma parents. WHEN DID MY KID LEARN HOW TO PEDAL? I didn't teach him. Preschool. 

All of that pedaling wore him out. He conked out on the way home so I sat in the driveway with him while he slept. He is a bear if you have to wake him up. (Just like his momma.)

He woke up right as Alex got home and we cooked dinner. Sam loves to help cook and setting the table is one of his responsibilities. 

At dinner Sam was telling Alex about his day. When he showed Alex the picture of himself riding the tricycle he got very sad. He asked to go back to the hospital because the hospital has bikes. And Sam doesn't have a bike a Sam's house. And he wants to ride a bike on the road. 

So naturally...

Now, generally I wouldn't give into a "tantrum." But he wasn't really having a tantrum. He was just super heartbroken about that bike. Plus we were high on the good scan news. We had the means to get him a bike of his own so we made it happen. 

Worth it.

Meeting with those families really reminded me of the hell we've made it through and how far we've come. One child was at the very beginning of his cancer journey. He was diagnosed less than a week before and starting his very first chemo that afternoon. The other child was prepping for her big tumor resection surgery the next morning. We've been there. I can relate to those parents in a way most other people can't. I can genuinely say, "I know what you're feeling." And it made me realize that I need to keep writing this blog. When your child is first diagnosed you go looking for stories. It's hard to find good neuroblastoma stories, happy neuroblastoma stories. I'm sure a lot of those kids are out just living their lives and their parents are too busy chasing after them to document the details on a little blog. But just like I think non-cancer people need to be made aware of the ugly side of things, people need to see the good side. They need to see that though they might be going through hell now, things can return to normal. It's possible. And you're going to come out a better person and appreciate those little moments so much more.

Something else I thought about on Thursday is that I've always just kind of been "okay" with stable scans. Like, yeah that's alright but why can't they just be clean? I'd breathe easier if they were clean. But stable isn't just okay, it's something to celebrate! Sam is alive and he's thriving! He's smart, funny, and active. All things considered, he's healthy. He's here. I get to rub his back as he falls asleep. We can cuddle on the couch and share a bowl of popcorn while we watch movies. I get to fight with him over whether or not he needs some quiet time. We don't have to worry about central lines dressing changes or surgeries or neutropenia. 

I can go ahead and breathe easy, even though my kid will probably never be declared NED, because God is in control. That sounds so simple but we forget. And I worry and stress and hold tight to the illusion of control.

Something people often respond with when we share positive scan results is that "God is good!" "God is faithful!" And you know what? That's true. But, and I know people don't mean it this way, but I almost feel like it's, for lack of a better phrase, a slap in the face to those who have lost their children. Or if they're just finding out about a relapse or are holding their baby while they sob and puke into a pink bucket. God is faithful then, too. I just need to say that even if the scan results were less than positive, God is still good. The verse that used to be in the header of this blog was,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

This seems so simple. It seems cliche. But I forget. Everywhere, in every situation, God is there. Give your worries to him. Does that mean everything I pray about will just be immediately fixed? No. But I can give it to him, remember that he's in control, and experience peace. Focus on the good, and have peace.